Despite it being the Sunday School virtue of the month, PATIENCE seems to be the one thing I'm lacking lately. I guess I need to join the kiddies for Sunday School and skip regular service, eh? From my cell phone, to a 3 year old's ridiculous arguments/requests, to students, etc. I have no patience. Granted, being 34 weeks pregnant (AND learning to go w/o coffee) doesn't help AND that doesn't mean my irritation isn't justified, but regardless I've been having to ask for help with having patience.
All these little things add up and become irritable, but they remind me of a bigger thing, too. They remind me of the type of person I am. Instant gratification. Wanting something done RIGHT NOW and having to wait for things to come to fruition. And it's definitely something I've been working on and gotten much better at dealing with in larger circumstances.
I think I've mentioned before that I am the type of girl who puts a lot on her plate. One of the most frustrating feelings in life is to know that you were meant for something MORE, but have no idea what that MORE is...so you try to do as much as possible to feel accomplished in something. Now, I have done a lot and I recognize where I've done some good. I've worked in daycares/preschools, been a nanny to several wonderful children, worked in several classroom settings, done small scale projects to benefit others, etc. And big or small, I know the differences I've made and those in themselves are blessings. THIS is where I've learned patience. Not necessarily with the crazy kids and the bad days and where just making it through an afternoon requires every thread of my being to hold onto my sanity....PATIENCE in having that one day or one student or one afternoon where I realized that I made a difference. Realizing that maybe not everyday I am going to feel great, but waiting for that moment to arrive and letting it just happen. Not forcing it, not trying to be the difference maker, just doing whatever it is that I do that might change an attitude or uplift a person or make someone laugh or smile. Maybe it's that extra 5 minutes to color or paint with my kid. Maybe it's sending an e-mail to a parent who needs to know they're kid had a good day and then WAITING for that awesome response.
The other day I heard a radio discussion about how helping others actually benefits the person who does the helping MORE than the person they're helping. It just makes you feel that awesome that you've helped in some way, that you emotionally feel uplifted and it benefits the rest of your life. It's so true.
It doesn't bug me that not every person in the world reads my blog. I feel awesome when I see that one person read it because it means that someone else might have the same attitude or being inspired to help someone in need.
It won't bug me if I don't reach my goal for $250 by Aug 19 because ONE donation practically made me leap for joy because someone else was inspired to help through me.
I once did a neighborhood food drive and could not believe the outpouring of community involvement and thought, "Wow, this is just cool."
The things don't have to be big. Nor do they have to be what the world deems "successful." Success, in this one aspect of my life, is just that one other person somewhere in the world is inspired to help another human being. And it's already happened. And I truly believe it will continue to happen.
Waiting for all these little blessings to take place is SO worth it and I have all the patience in the world to see what God has planned for me. I know that I'm meant for more. And if I have the chance to make more awesome things happen, then I will give it a try and have patience to see if it works out. And if it doesn't, then I will try something else. But I know I'll be doing awesome work.
So...if I have all the patience in the world to watch big ideas come to fruition....why is pajama time with a 3 year old so frustrating?!